No rest for the wicked
That's something i used to hear a lot from my mum while i was growing up. I've always chosen to do lots of things and to use my time to do as many things as possible.
The past few weeks have (with the exception of my beautiful trip to Venezuela) flown by in a blur of meetings, e-mails, phonecalls and team dinners. I know i'm enjoying it. I know i'm learning heaps. And i'm forming some very special friendships.
But i'm also very aware that somehow i'm not finding enough hours to do several things that are important to me. I'm not swimming or going to the gym anymore. I'm not calling or sending emails to my friends or family. I'm not sleeping enough.
Will i be able to change this? Is it the case, as someone told me recently, that these things may not be as important to me as i believe them to be?
The past few weeks have (with the exception of my beautiful trip to Venezuela) flown by in a blur of meetings, e-mails, phonecalls and team dinners. I know i'm enjoying it. I know i'm learning heaps. And i'm forming some very special friendships.
But i'm also very aware that somehow i'm not finding enough hours to do several things that are important to me. I'm not swimming or going to the gym anymore. I'm not calling or sending emails to my friends or family. I'm not sleeping enough.
Will i be able to change this? Is it the case, as someone told me recently, that these things may not be as important to me as i believe them to be?
posted by Rob at
1:33 AM
4 Comments:
Usually when friends ask me what I am doing always so late online and why I'm sleeping so little I give them this answer
- There is no rest for the wicked.
We are driving ourselves to our limits and beyond and even if others - our "old" friends - call us mad... we are in fact enjoying it.
In AIESEC we have a limited time-frame for what we are doing. Sometimes I'm having a feeling similar to the one somebody must have who is going to die in one year. Every experience is much more intense. And every day I want to use as much as possible - resulting in exceeding the usual limits by far or even to a near-breakdown.
We seem to forget about all the other things we did in our "former" life and it might seem to us and others that these elements of our former life actually never really mattered to us.
I think that is not true. I think it just shows how important this one year is for us - because it is short, because it is precious, because it is intense, because it will never come back, because it connects us to some deeper purpose,
because it is one year of a life that will indeed end with the last day in office.
And when we return into the "normal life" parts of our normal life will return to us aswell and will re-integrate into the now bigger frame of mind and soul that was stretched by the intensity and shortness of this other life.
But... maybe there can really never be rest for the truly wicked.
Maybe some of us will have tasted a forbidden fruit that makes them see things so fundamentally different that they will never be able to return to this "old life".
Maybe these people will stay wicked - neglecting old ways, discovering new ones, not sticking to courses society has given them, not being "good" and acting according to the rules.
Maybe then the old things will remain not as important as we earlier believed them to be.
And maybe this may shake up the world.
But what do I know? I have still 9 months left to live.
And even though the woods are lovely dark and deep -
I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep...
I clearly remember a single point last year I felt overwhelmed by this sense you describe.
What I did was to change things a bit and perhaps get a little bit creative in handling things. I knew I missed my friends the most and felt horrible about not being in touch. So I made me a deal that work like a donkey as I might, I would call a different friend every other night over the phone for a completely chilled out chat.
Helped me heaps and also ensured I was staying sane.
Perhaps you want to really figure out what's most important and then get a tab bit creative yourself.
Hey love,
I guess that is the reason why u have the unwicked with plenty of rest friend as i am to remind you of...
- No worries, i will find time to phone and talk to you.
- No worries, 'cz u'll need to fill me in to be able to answer my mom of what does Rob eat these days? Good food?
- No worries, as once you know that i start to brag about my trip to the swimming pool and walk (or play?) in the park, then it will hit you 'Bam!' and another 'Bam' of is the shirt shrunk? question from me. Then, there will be the time for your exercise.
No worries, love.
You will be fine.
If you dont' allow yourself to, you know that i will try every best way to make you be fine!
Plenty of love on your way!
xxx
There is really not much to add to my three predecessors commenting on this post, but keep this in mind...
Wherever your thoughts will take you on your trip, and how ever many times you will be trying to find out what is most important to you, I think life is all about setting priorities. And your priorities are with AIESEC and your job right now.
Your friends will know and understand. And not to be a priority right now doesn't mean not a priority in general.
No worries, Rob. Keep running, and taste this experience to the fullest. Quieter times will come.
And I will be in touch. For sure.
Take care
Post a Comment
<< Home